The Syndicate

Kent Brockman

Day 7

Springfield Police have arrested Abraham "Grampa" Simpson on suspicion of squirrelicide. Police became suspicious when Mr. Simpson was overheard shouting to crowd of disinterested passersby that the squirrel is quote, "Evil! Evil! EEEEVVIIIIIIIIL!" for several uninterrupted minutes.

When questioned further, the elder Simpson demanded to be left alone and then promptly fell asleep.

Grampa Simpson has been arrested. He was a Mafia Goon.

And with that, this harrowing ordeal is over. Springfieldians young and old can rest assured knowing that the perpetrators of this heinous deed have been brought to justice. And as for those who were abducted or otherwise harmed over the course of this investigation, they were eventually recused by... oh, let's say Moe.

Town has won. Congratulations, and thank you all for playing.

Kent Brockman

Day 7

Ladies and Gentlemen of Springfield: Tonight it is with sincere gravity that I report the news to you.

Springfield Police have made what they hope to be the final arrest in the Lincoln Squirrel conspiracy. It is believed that this fortuitous break in the case might finally bring to an end one of the darkest chapters in Springfield's colorful history. For weeks the murderers have taunted citizens and the law alike, but recent turns in the investigation have uncovered a pair of culprits. With the suspect pool dwindling, it is believed that it is now or never for the investigation.

We go now live to Mayor Quimby and Police Chief Wiggum with the announcement...

Spoiler: show

Well that's obviously the wrong footage.

Kent Brockman

Night 6

This just in: Santa Claus is dead. Or Christmas is, at the very least. Beloved holiday mascot, The Grumple, has been made the latest victim in the Lincoln Squirrel saga overnight. The Grumple's lair was discovered by police this morning, with his belongings strewn all over and a note which read, "You'll never catch me alive, coppers!" The note was believed to have been left by the remaining conspirator or conspirators in the assassination plot, as the Grumple was being treated as a key witness in the case.

Springfield Police believe they have a lead on the remaining suspect(s). A press conference is expected within the coming days.

The Grumple has been killed. He was the Town Doctor.
It is Day 7. You have 24 hours to eliminate somebody.
Today is LYLO.

Kent Brockman

Day 6

Breaking news on our top story tonight: Another break in the Lincoln Squirrel investigation has come with the arrest of local powerplant baron and sinister millionaire, Charles Montgomery Burns.

When questioned by police, Mr. Burns confessed to his crimes, adding quote, "And I would shoot [the Squirrel] again, if it meant driving the common rabble back in doors where they rely on my nuclear power for all their needs! Hahaha hahaha", and the transcript goes on in this maniacal fashion for quite some time.

Mr. Burns is being held in custody without bail as he and his team of very expensive lawyers await a trial. Springfield can rest a bit easier tonight, with the lone exception of Burns' loyal lackey Mr. Smithers, knowing that we are one step closer to justice in this saga.

Mr. Burns has been arrested. He was the Mafia Jack of all Trades.
It is Night 6. Players have 24 hours to submit night actions.

Kent Brockman

Night 5

Good evening Springfield, I'm Kent Brockman.

Our top story tonight: Springfield Elementary School principal Seymour Skinner has been reported missing. Principal Skinner never returned home after school, which deeply concerned his mother, who stresses that Seymour is never late due to his inability to find a girlfriend.

Speculation about Skinner having information pertaining to the Lincoln Squirrel is running rampant, and while baseless, this reporter would like to encourage viewers to whip themselves into a hysteria over it.

Wherever he is, we hope that Principal Skinner will have a clear view of the Aurora Borealis as they make their way over Springfield later this week.

Principal Skinner has been abducted. He was the Town Tracker.
It is Day 6. This phase will last 24 hours. There will be no hammer or locked votes.

Kent Brockman

Day 5

A break in the Lincoln Squirrel investigation is being reported tonight!

Good evening, Springfield. I'm Kent Brockman. Springfield Police have made another arrest of another suspected in the plot carried out to assassinate our beloved rodent. Local child prodigy Allison Taylor has been taken into police custody when squirrel fur was found on her belongings. It is unknown what motive she had in participating in the conspiracy, but Miss Taylor has already admitted her guilt, though she refuses to give up her co-conspirators at this time. More on this story as it develops.

Allison Taylor has been arrested. She was a Mafia Goon.
It is Night 5. Players have 24 hours to submit night actions.
See next post for additional information.

Kent Brockman

Night 4

On this historic evening, Springfield Police are back at work to catch the Lincoln Squirrel assassins. But the story has taken another grim turn this evening.

Local rascal Bart Simpson has gone missing. While he would no doubt ask that we not have a cow over this, his disappearance is troubling nonetheless. The young Simpson was considered to be a reliable source of information along with his father before the elder Simpson went missing earlier in the investigation. Police Chief Wiggum assures us that he intends to return the boy to safety, dead or alive, and that the culprits will not go unpunished.

For Channel 6, I'm Kent Brockman.

Bart Simpson has been abducted. He was Vanilla Town.
It is Day 5. You have 48 hours to eliminate somebody.
Today is LYLO. Votes are always changeable.

Kent Brockman

Day 4

Good evening Springfield, this is Kent Brockman with more breaking news.

The zombie terror is over. Two seemingly friendly aliens have agreed to clean up the undead menace in exchange for just one live human subject. After much deliberation, it was decided that our celestial friends would take local bus driver and pot head, Otto Mann. Springfield's leaders figured Otto would not mind, and may just believe the experience to be a hallucination anyway. Whether or not he is to be returned to Springfield was not discussed.

Hopefully now we may resume our hunt for the Lincoln Squirrel assassins.

Otto Mann has been abducted by Kang & Kodos. He was Vanilla Town.
It is Night 4. Players have 24 hours to submit their night actions.

Kent Brockman

Night 3

This just in: the dead continue to terrorize downtown Springfield and, for some reason, the Simpson family in particular. Their latest victim is the Simpson family matriarch, Marge Simpson. Speculation is that the zombies believed there to be an extra large human brain underneath her patented blue beehive hairstyle.

Springfield police could not be reached for contact, and details on both the zombie uprising and the Lincoln Squirrel investigation remain unknown. Whether or not these events are connected, who's to say?

For Channel 6, I'm Kent Brockman. May God have mercy on us all.

Marge Simpson has been abducted by zombies. She was Vanilla Town.
It is Day 4. You have 48 hours to eliminate somebody.

Kent Brockman

Day 3

We interrupt this broadcast of Dial 'M' for Murderousness to bring you startling news.

The dead have risen in Springfield and are running amok! Citizens are urged to board up their windows, keep their loves ones close, and make use of whatever projectile weapons you may find. Those with big brains should be especially cautious.

The zombies have already claimed several victims, including local 2nd grader and honor roll student, Lisa Simpson. Hers was the biggest brain of all, and a zombie spokesperson was quoted as saying they, "couldn't resist."

Lisa Simpson has been abducted by zombies. She was Vanilla Town.
It is Night 3. Players have 22 hours to submit night actions. Day will begin at 9:30 PM Eastern Time.

Kent Brockman

Night 2

Breaking news, Springfield: another disappearance in connection to the Lincoln Squirrel assassination plot is being reported tonight.

Local man Homer Simpson, a devoted husband and so-so father, has been reported missing. Last seen departing from a local drinking establishment, Simpson was considered a key witness in the investigation into the murder of Springfield's most cherished rodent. In spite of Simpson's demonstrated lack of awareness and reprehensible personal hygeine, police believed he may have held the key to unraveling the conspiracy. Some have wondered whether the investigation can even continue without a character of his magnitude in the fold.

Homer Simpson has been abducted. He was Vanilla Town.
It is Day 3. You have 48 hours to eliminate somebody.

Kent Brockman

Day 2

Good evening, Springfield. This is Kent Brockman coming to you live from our studios here at Channel 6.

Our top story tonight: Springfield Police have made a second arrest in the Lincoln Squirrel investigation. After the first suspect turned out to be a dud, the pressure is on everyone to make the correct decision this time.

We are hearing reports that the local comic shop owner affectionately known as "Comic Book Guy" is person under arrest. Critics have already begun to call this the worst arrest ever.

Comic Book Guy has been arrested. He was Vanilla Town.

It is Night 2. Players have 24 hours to submit night actions.

Kent Brockman

Night 1

Breaking news from the Lincoln Squirrel investigation this evening.

Ned Flanders, one of the alleged suspects has vanished without a trace. Police were set to rule Flanders out as a suspected based on a tip they received from a "dang-diddly concerned Springfieldian" earlier in the investigation. Foul play is suspected in his disappearance. Anyone with information on the potential whereabouts of Ned Flanders should call the Lincoln Squirrel hotline.

Ned Flanders has been abducted. He was Vanilla Town.
It is Day 2. You have 48 hours to eliminate someone.

Kent Brockman

Day 1

Good evening Springfield, this is Kent Brockman with breaking news.

Springfield Police have made their first arrest in the Lincoln Squirrel investigation.
Local fourth grader Milhouse Van Houten has been taken into custody on suspicion of conspiring to murder the beloved rodent. Police Chief Wiggum cited the boy's various nut allergies and general fear of animals as potential motive.
When asked, one acquaintance of Van Houten was quoted as saying, "Nobody likes Milhouse!"

Milhouse Van Houten has been arrested. He was Vanilla Town.

It is Night 1. Players have 24 hours to submit night actions.
The thread will remain locked during the Night.

Kent Brockman

Day 1

This is Kent Brockman with a special bulletin...

The Lincoln Squirrel has been assassinated. We'll stay on this story all night if we have to! Springfield Police are on the case and have narrowed it down to a pool of fifteen suspects who were known to have been in the vicinity of the squirrel at the time of the attack. Police Chief Wiggum is not ruling out an organized conspiracy by an outraged confederacy of Lincoln Squirrel-deniers.

If I may speak from the heart to the killers: Your heinous acts will not go unpunished. We will find you, and we will punish you accordingly. Springfield is only strengthened by your actions.

It is Day 1. You have 48 hours to eliminate someone.

Kent Brockman

Day 0

Good evening, Springfield. For Channel 6, I'm Kent Brockman.

Our top story today: A squirrel resembling former President Abraham Lincoln has been found here in Springfield. Squirrel enthusiasts and zealous nutjobs are flocking to Springfield State Forest in droves to catch a glimpse of the majestic beast. Springfield hasn't seen hysteria like this since that gopher that looked like Grover Cleveland.

We'll have more on this story as it develops.

Day 1 will begin in approximately 3 hours.

The Syndicate

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