The Syndicate

FZ. wrote:Thanks for the banner Epig Now, if only I could get my other one

It's in the Willow thread.

Mongoose wrote:

FZ. wrote:

Hell yeah!!! I knew it

Epig, that was such an amazing and fun game! I enjoyed it so much. Thanks for making it, and thanks for the patience
And I loved the menus Mongoose, they were brilliant, though my last punishment was a pain, lol

TH, I totally sympathize with the baddie burn out. Can't say I'm not proud of myself for seeing it from the start, but I know how when you play an aggressive civvie game, the pressure to match it up as a baddie is very hard.

Great job civvies

Thanks so much FZ & Sock! I thought "Curry on My Wayward Son" was my magnum opus of food-related puns. I spent two entire afternoons at work coming up with those and had a blast. I'm so touched you all enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed making them.

Also a Kansas song.

Dom wrote:Epig, I am sorry you didn't get to see me have fun in that role

No one did, I'm afraid.

Vompatti stole your power N1 but targeted MP, who was immune to your BTSC. Then they killed you.

I was hoping Vompatti would have kept stealing your power every other Night to cause chaos (because he would have appeared in chatzy as "Miss Brahms").

Thank you everyone for participating in such a silly game. Once again, congratulations to the winners:

Turnip Head wrote:Good game civvies! I knew I wouldn't last long after FZ came after me from the start, again... lol. FZ you played great, called all the baddies almost immediately.

I was a little burnt out being a baddie in both this game and the hobbit game at the same time, my civvie style requires that I play a very involved baddie game and I just didn't have the time to fully commit to it. But it was fun watching the maintenance crew try to keep me alive!

And curse that lunch menu... Okra Winfrey got me silenced the last day

If Maintenance could have gotten ONE person to vote for S~V~S, they could have pulled of their win condition. S~V~S had a vote against her for screwing up the Italian. Boogs won a secret vote at lunchtime.

A tie wouldn't do, because S~V~S decided ties. So they needed one person to vote for her and then they would have had to pile on. No offense to S~V~S at all, but I was rooting for such a ludicrous thing to happen.

S~V~S wrote:

Mongoose wrote:STOKED.

Glad you all liked the dishes and coffee drinks I created! I had a little too much fun doing that.

that really was the perfect role for you; they were so creative and interesting. I would not have had the patience.

Mongoose was worried about being outed for that, but funnily enough, no one pegged her for doing the canteen stuff.

Another funny thing was that I gave Mongoose her role in advance to make these poll options. Initially she had six tea/coffee options and six lunch items. But there was a miscommunication and she thought she needed tea and lunch items for all game phases- that's why we ended up with menus so large.

Thank you for putting those together Mongoose- they were very clever.

MovingPictures07 wrote:YES!!!! Go civvies!!!!

Does it make more sense now why I was missing votes? :P

This was such a fantastic game, Robert! I loved it! It was great getting to play a more wacky and quiet style there for a while too.

Your excuses were so freaking ridiculous.

Secrets

Mr. Humphries
Is he or isn’t he? *Secret*

Each odd hour after 7:00 pm, the lovable Mr. Humphries will decide whether he is or isn’t- that is, he’ll decide whether he is protected the next even hour or protected the next odd hour. If his ability is doubled by Captain Peacock or Mr. Rumbold, he will be safe both hours.

One time only during an even hour, you may say in the thread, “Glass of water for Mr. Grainger!” You will not know what effect this has, however.

++++

Mr. Lucas
Always late! *Secret*

Whenever Mr. Lucas misses an even-hour vote, he must make a ridiculous apology to the thread during the following odd hour. If he can get three or more people to discuss why he was late, he can be nosy that same hour and role check.

++++

Mr. Grainger
The forty-year veteran often falls asleep on the job. *Secret*

You can only post after someone mentions your username (or derivation of it) on even hours. Until then, you are asleep and cannot post. Because of your expertise, however, your vote will count for double. If your power is doubled (such as by Captain Peacock or Mr. Rumbold), your vote will be quadrupled.

Once, during an even hour, Mr. Humphries will say “Glass of water for Mr. Grainger!” When this happens, you can post, even if no one has said your username.

++++

Mr. Harman
Sets up bizarre displays. *Secret*

These displays will go up at 9:00 am and 1:00 pm. What are these displays? That’s up to you. You will be designing the display, describing what it does, and showing how it (inevitably) malfunctions. PM the Host your morning design by the end of 7:00 am. PM the Host your afternoon display by the end of 11:00 am. Further instructions will follow.

Hint: The second display is potentially far more beneficial to you than the first.

For both displays, Maintenance had to choose an adjective from a list of 4, and would receive a benefit depending on the number of people they could get to vote their option. For the first display, they got a lie detection to use during odd hour phases. For the second display, they recruit Snow Dog into their BTSC and win condition (although he was still out of the game). Had they gotten more votes, they would have recruited and brought him back in.

++++

The Canteen Manageress
*Secret*

As the cantankerous Canteen Manager, you can win as long as you still have your job.

11:00 am is elevenses. 3:00 pm is lunch.

For elevenses, you will provide a menu of teas and coffees (be as creative as you like) and you will assign prizes and punishments to the options. Please submit this menu to the Host by 9:00 pm.

For lunch, you will provide a menu of dishes (be as creative as you like) and you will assign prizes and punishments to the options. Please submit this menu to the Host by 1:00 pm.

In addition, you are so stubborn that you can’t be gotten rid of until after lunch.

Regarding prizes and punishments: You are free to make up whatever absurd prizes and penalties you would like, but these are subject to certain guidelines and Host approval. First and foremost, they may not consist of anything “livelihood-related” (i.e., no protections, kills, or resurrections). Direct information (i.e., role checks, alignment checks) is also prohibited.

Be creative and have fun with it. The deadlines listed above are in place so that if I “veto” anything, we can work out suitable substitutes.

Elohcin wrote:Congratulations civvies. For the record, I did see the case on TH I just had to try to keep him alive.

Indeed. It was amusing watching the independent team try to keep the last remaining bad guy alive.

Captain Peacock / S~V~S
Mrs. Slocombe / nijuukyugou
Mr. Humphries / A Person
Mr. Lucas / MovingPictures07
Miss Brahms / Dom
Mr. Grainger / Snow Dog
Mr. Tebbs / DisgruntledPorcupine
Mr. Goldberg / FZ.
Mr. Spooner / Sorsha

Mr. Mash / Elohcin
Mr. Harmon / Boogs

Mr. Rumbold / Turnip Head
Young Mr. Grace / reywaS
Old Mr. Grace / Vompatti

The Canteen Manageress / Mongoose

Agent E was over the moon. "You have successfully led me to the culprits whose incompetence has run this department store into the ground- and all by quitting time! Well done!"

Mme. Effzi nodded in approval. "I knew we could sort it out."

Mrs. Essviess eyed Mr. Boogs and Mrs. Eloh. "There will be no further warnings. No more displays on the floor during operating hours. Now off you go."

Agent E beamed. "Because of your success, by the power vested in me by the Queen, God save her, I hereby declare Miss Blooper, Madame Effzi, Mrs. Essviess, Ms. Goosey, and Mr. Pictures to be the new management of Grace Bros. In addition to a five per cent discount on anything in the store, you are thenceforth entitled to a rise in salary at 50p per annum!"

Miss Blooper scowled. "50p? I can't get my pussy anything to play with for 50p! And I am unanimous in that!"

Ms. Goosey said, "Stop by the Canteen. I'm sure I can get you a can of tuna."

Mr. Pictures came rushing in from lunch. "So sorry I'm late! I shouldn't have had the curry for lunch. It's made my insides go wayward and I was stuck in the loo!"

Agent E said farewell to the remaining Grace Bros. staff. "This time, truly, you've all done very well!"

"Signore Rapa Testa," said Agent E. "Are you sure you aren't involved with the Mafia?"

Mr. Turnips stood silent, bewildered by such an accusation.

"I think we'll need to investigate your background in more detail. After you've collected your things here, you'll be escorted to British Intelligence for further investigation." Agent E looked at him funnily. "Is it just me, or did your ears grow three times since this morning?"

MovingPictures07 wrote:

Epignosis wrote:The language is plain:

[The Maintenance] can win with any team, but both Captain Peacock and Mr. Rumbold must be out.

If Capt. Peacock is in and the game is over, Maintenance loses.
Is Mr. Rumbold is in and the game is over, Maintenance loses.

If Capt. Peacock and Mr. Rumbold are out, Maintenance wins.

Hmmmm, interesting, so you're saying if civvies and Maintenance were the ONLY factions remaining, and Peacock were among those civvies, the civvies would win and the game would end? or would the game continue until either Maintenance or Peacock were eliminated?

I would assume the latter, since that's how I typically have seen such roles, but it seems you're saying the former. Which is fantastic.

I am saying this: Regardless of what happens, if Peacock or Rumbold are in at Endgame, Maintenance loses.

A message from Mrs. Slocombe:

We'd do well to find Mr. Rumbold, and soon - if I'm not home by the stroke of 6, my pussy goes positively mad. Why, just the other day, I came home at half-past seven with take-away from that new Chinese restaurant down the road. My pussy howled, knocked me over, and gobbled up the entire order of broccoli stir fry! I had to satisfy myself with white rice. Oh, but the excitement didn't end after that - my pussy was crying so badly later that night that my next-door neighbor had to pop in and help calm him down.

There is nothing worse in this world than a bad vegetable. That, and a traumatized pussy. I won't be frequenting that restaurant anymore.

Lunchtime had ended, and everyone was feeling the effects of their meal. While they were recovering or feeling refreshed, Agent E appeared in the canteen with an old box of documents.

"What’s this now?” Agent E asked. “Old records regarding the staff?”

Mr. Turnips appeared nervous.

“Signore Rapa Testa,” Agent E said. “I didn’t know you were Italian!”

“Give me that!” Mr. Turnips said.

“There’s no need for one to be embarrassed of his heritage!” Agent E declared. “Everyone, let’s help Signore Rapa Testa celebrate his Italian heritage. Please refer to him by his real name.”

What will you be having for lunch today?

You may select 1 option

Toad in the Roll: An egg and cheese barm served in a warm, buttery roll. Served with brown sauce.
0
No votes

Toad in the Hole, the Wet Sprocket: An over-medium egg cooked into fried bread and smothered with our infamous spacklin’ gravy.
0
No votes

Coronation Street Chicken
1
Boogs (6)
9%

The Sowman
0
No votes

Scotch Tape Egg
0
No votes

Cybill Shephard’s Pie
1
Elohcin (7)
9%

Broc the Cashbah
1
Mongoose (9)
9%

Soups, I Did It Again
1
FZ. (3)
9%

Let’s Give ‘em Something to Taco ‘Bout
0
No votes

Lunch Will Tear Us Apart
0
No votes

Curry on My Wayward Son
1
MovingPictures07 (2)
9%

Okra Winfrey
1
Turnip Head (11)
9%

‘Shroom with a View
0
No votes

Corn in the USA
0
No votes

Who You Gonna Call? Roastbusters
0
No votes

Slaw & Order
0
No votes

Nine Inch Kales
1
S~V~S (8)
9%

Orange is the New Black Bean
0
No votes

Smashing Pumpkins & Squash
0
No votes

We Are All Made of Starfruit
0
No votes

Sproutkast
0
No votes

Get Behind Me Seitan
0
No votes

Crosby, Dills & Mash
1
nijuukyugou (10)
9%

H*A*S*H
0
No votes

Gin (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
3
Epignosis (1), thellama73 (4), DisgruntledPorcupine (5)
27%


Total votes : 11

Post coming soon.

I saw my very first full length film in 3D. That was the third time I had gone to the movies in six years.

Please make your selection from the canteen menu:

Toad in the Roll: An egg and cheese barm served in a warm, buttery roll. Served with brown sauce.

Toad in the Hole, the Wet Sprocket: An over-medium egg cooked into fried bread and smothered with our infamous spacklin’ gravy.

Coronation Street Chicken: Based upon the world’s longest-running soap, this sandwich is lightly toasted and served with a side of pickled onions.

The Sowman: A traditional Ploughman sandwich, but with the addition of thick-cut, crispy bacon.

Scotch Tape Egg: A traditional Scotch egg with white tripe wrapped around the outer layer.

Cybill Shephard’s Pie: The sandwich that bares it all. Instead of the meat and vegetables being covered by the molten layer of potato, they are bare on the surface!

Broc the Cashbah
Ginger broccoli served with sauteed chicken or tofu. Choose rice noodles or brown rice.

Soups, I Did It Again
Choose either of our daily soups, served side by side in our special Half & Half bowls.

Let’s Give ‘em Something to Taco ‘Bout
Two fish tacos served on housemade soft taco wraps. Garnished with fresh cilantro and our avocado aoili.

Lunch Will Tear Us Apart
The daily special plus a half order of whatever your lunch mate orders.

Curry on My Wayward Son
Panang curry served in a bowl with white rice on the side.

Okra Winfrey
Fried okra and chicken tenders served with a side of mashed potatoes and hot buttered corn.

‘Shroom with a View
Portobello caps baked with breadcrumbs and roasted veggies.

Corn in the USA
Polenta served with chorizo and gravy. Add a house salad to complete your dining experience.

Who You Gonna Call? Roastbusters
Sunday roast with all the trimmings. Choose from pork butt or shoulder.

Slaw & Order
Our version of the Ramen noodle salad. Featuring cabbage, shredded carrots, almonds, Ramen-type noodles, seasonings, and water chestnuts.

Nine Inch Kales
Traditional cabbage rolls except for the substitution of kale. Choose beef or tofu.

Orange is the New Black Bean
Tempura chicken served in our new orange and black bean sauce. Served over white or brown rice with steamed vegetables.

Smashing Pumpkins & Squash
Autumnal gourds come together in this curried dish. Served with a side of basmati rice and raita.

We Are All Made of Starfruit
Fruit salad composed of seasonal produce, featuring the starfruit (Seasonal)

Sproutkast
Our tasty kitchen sink salad, topped with three kinds of sprouts. Add grilled chicken for $2.

Get Behind Me Seitan
Barbecued seitan, served on a Hawaiian roll and topped with our housemade coleslaw.

Crosby, Dills & Mash
Wild salmon served with a butter-dill sauce and served over your choice of mashed potatoes or mashed cauliflower.

H*A*S*H
5 kinds of tubers served with an assortment of leafy greens (subject to seasonal availability) seasoned with garlic and onions. Add housemade sausage for $1.

Who should be ousted?

Poll ended at Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:30 am

Miss Blooper
1
DisgruntledPorcupine (3)
11%

Mr. Boogs
0
No votes

Mme. Effzi
0
No votes

Mrs. Eloh
0
No votes

Mrs. Essviess
0
No votes

Ms. Goosey
0
No votes

Mr. Pictures
0
No votes

Mr. Porcupine
4
Boogs (6), Mongoose (7), nijuukyugou (8), Elohcin (9)
44%

Mr. Turnips
2
FZ. (2), S~V~S (4)
22%

Arthur English (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
2
Epignosis (1), reywaS (5)
22%


Total votes : 9

Mr. Porcupine was quiet. Too quiet. Or normally quiet. Whatever the case, several people felt his quiet managerial style had put Grace Bros. in the disgruntled state it was in.

Agent E watched as they ran Mr. Porcupine out of the building. "Hmm," Agent E said. "He was managerial all right, but he wasn't exactly the sort of Management we are looking for."

A message from Mrs. Slocombe:

Had to call the maintenance man again; the dishwasher was leaking something terrible last night. But I should've remembered the rule about strange men - the moment they set foot in the house, my pussy goes absolutely crazy! Long story short, by the end of the evening, my kitchen was a wreck, my pussy was soaking wet, and the man vowed never to return after such a ruckus. I don't know who was harder to calm down - him, or my poor pussy. I certainly won't be having that awful man around again, either!

You just don't know a person until you give them a second look.

"The Management must be getting very desperate now!" observed Agent E. "Unfortunately they've also handed another one of you your notice."

How did the customers react to the display?

Poll ended at Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:02 am

Annoyed
1
FZ. (2)
9%

Yuck!
4
Mongoose (4), MovingPictures07 (6), Turnip Head (8), S~V~S (9)
36%

Bewildered
5
Boogs (3), DisgruntledPorcupine (5), Snow Dog (7), nijuukyugou (10), Elohcin (11)
45%

Stimulated
0
No votes

? (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
1
Epignosis (1)
9%


Total votes : 11

Elohcin wrote:Hey all. I finally have a moment. I am going to catch up

Bullshit. You're cleaning up the kitchen. I can hear you.

Also, thank you.

To Agent E’s dismay, the Maintenance Man had brought another ridiculous display on the floor during store hours.

“What is it this time?”

“A new item, sure to please,” the Maintenance man said. “‘is ‘ere is the new Automated Necktie 9000.”

“It looks like a normal tie to me.”

“Ah, but it ties itself, duhn’t it? Watch.”

“It’s like a charmed snake!” said Agent E.

The necktie moved on its own, as though enchanted, and began weaving over and under itself, producing a perfectly formed Windsor knot.

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Automated Necktie 9000.”

The mannequin’s head popped off, flew high into the air, and smashed onto the floor.

“We’ve seen quite a few people ousted,” Agent E remarked.

“I’m in very much the same position,” said Mr. Vomperdoodle.

Who should be ousted?

You may select 1 option

Miss Blooper
0
No votes

Mr. Boogs
1
Vompatti (3)
9%

Mme. Effzi
0
No votes

Mrs. Eloh
0
No votes

Mrs. Essviess
0
No votes

Ms. Goosey
0
No votes

Mr. Pictures
0
No votes

Mr. Porcupine
0
No votes

Mr. Snowy
0
No votes

Mr. Turnips
0
No votes

Mr. Vomperdoodle
8
Snow Dog (2), Mongoose (5), Boogs (6), nijuukyugou (7), FZ. (8), DisgruntledPorcupine (9), S~V~S (10), Elohcin (11)
73%

John Inman (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
2
Epignosis (1), Dom (4)

This was meant to be posted after the 11:00am hour but the phase ended after I'd had an exhausting day:

I was getting a bit tired of my hair color (I'd already kept it the same for over a week!) so last night I got about changing it up. All was going well, and I was combing the color in with one hand and holding the dye with the other when the tube slipped from my fingers and spilled all over my pussy! It took about two hours to get everything cleaned up but, thank heavens, my pussy is no longer pink. I can only imagine what the neighbors would say if they had seen!

Change is good, but sometimes, consistency is the way to go.

The break had ended and it was back to work for everyone- everyone except for Mr. Dom!

Select a tea or coffee.

Poll ended at Mon Jun 16, 2014 9:04 pm

London Frog
0
No votes

Dead Eye
1
Vompatti (2)
8%

Rob Rooibos
1
DisgruntledPorcupine (8)
8%

Earl Greyhound
1
Snow Dog (12)
8%

Lady Greyhound
0
No votes

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chrysanthemum
1
S~V~S (7)
8%

Duke of Earl Grey
0
No votes

Chai Just a Lil Bit Harder
1
Elohcin (3)
8%

From Here to Eternitea
0
No votes

Game, Set, Matcha
1
nijuukyugou (4)
8%

Chai Me a River
1
Dom (6)
8%

London Smog
0
No votes

Red Eye
0
No votes

Blizzard of Oz
1
Boogs (5)
8%

Every Which Way But Grey Goose
0
No votes

A Whole Latte Lovin’
0
No votes

I Fought the Latte and the Latte Won
1
FZ. (9)
8%

Brew-Haha
1
MovingPictures07 (10)
8%

Brewndock Saints
0
No votes

Bedknobs and Brewmsticks
0
No votes

The Humphrey Brewgart
0
No votes

Gulp Fiction
0
No votes

Frappin’ the Night Away
1
Mongoose (11)
8%

Citizen Cane Sugar
0
No votes

Bourbon. (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
1
Epignosis (1)
8%


Total votes : 12

Who should be ousted?

You may select 1 option

Miss Blooper
0
No votes

Mr. Boogs
1
nijuukyugou (12)
7%

Mr. Dom
0
No votes

Mme. Effzi
0
No votes

Mrs. Eloh
0
No votes

Mrs. Essviess
0
No votes

Ms. Goosey
0
No votes

Mr. Pictures
0
No votes

Mr. Porcupine
1
Mongoose (2)
7%

Mr. Rey
7
S~V~S (3), Boogs (5), Turnip Head (7), Elohcin (9), DisgruntledPorcupine (10), reywaS (11), Vompatti (14)
50%

Mr. Snowy
0
No votes

Mr. Turnips
0
No votes

Mr. Vomperdoodle
3
Snow Dog (4), Dom (6), FZ. (13)
21%

Mollie Sugden (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
2
Epignosis (1), thellama73 (8)
14%


Total votes : 14

“Bloody good work!” Agent E exclaimed. “It is time for your break I do believe, and it is well deserved.”

Choose something from the canteen menu:

Teas:

London Frog: Earl Grey infused with our Creme de Menthe syrup and then topped with a Creme de Menthe foam cap.

Dead Eye: Chamomile tea brewed at tenfold potency. We recommend waiting an hour to drive after drinking.

Rob Rooibos: This delightful tisane, also known as red tea or redbush tea, will delight even the most prickly patron with its smooth velvety texture.

Earl Greyhound
An Earl Grey latte with foam cap, topped with grapefruit zest

Lady Greyhound
A Lady Grey latte with foam cap, topped with grapefruit zest

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chrysanthemum
An herbal tea featuring the petals of chrysanthemum, violet, and hibiscus.

Duke of Earl Grey
Perfect for the mornings, this jazzy blend is composed of Earl Grey and traditional English Breakfast Tea.

Chai Just a Lil Bit Harder
A delicious green tea chai that is blended with milk and served over ice. Also available as a hot beverage.

From Here to Eternitea
Unlimited refills on either our brewed green or white teas.

Tea Lattes:

Game, Set, Matcha: A tasty, find-ground, high-caliber green tea that causes the production of amino acids when taken. Perfect a Game Day high.

Chai Me a River: a pitcher of our succulent chai blend. This preparation is served with just the perfect amount of milk. Non-dairy options are also available.

London Smog: Earl Grey tea, steamed milk, and chocolate syrup instead of the vanilla syrup found in a traditional London Fog.

Coffees:

Red Eye: 4 shots of espresso Americano-style. You must sign a written waiver before purchasing.

Blizzard of Oz: Our house blend coffee blended with ice, milk, and the flavored syrup of your choice.

Every Which Way But Grey Goose
A coffee cocktail with top-shelf vodka.

A Whole Latte Lovin’
An extra-large latte served in our super-sized mugs. Steamed with the milk of your choice with our syrups.

I Fought the Latte and the Latte Won
Triple shots of espresso and chocolate and caramel syrups make this latte nearly unlawful.

Brew-Haha
The trick is that this espresso drink is infused with chai tea!

Brewndock Saints
Our house brew with Irish Creme flavoring. An alcoholic option is also available.

Bedknobs and Brewmsticks
Decaf coffee infused with cinnamon and cloves. Served with a fresh cinnamon stick.

The Humphrey Brewgart
Black coffee with a shot of scotch.

Coffee Lattes:

Gulp Fiction: Our top seller. One shot of espresso plus steamed milk and your choice of flavored syrups. Also available with a double shot of espresso or flavoring.

Frappin’ the Night Away: Our Gulp Fiction plus a creamy foam cap.

Citizen Cane Sugar: Brewed coffee sweetened with raw cane sugar. Served with a side cruet of milk. Also available in decaf.

Agent E noted the consensus. “Glad to see some agreement in the matter.”

Mr. Rey shook a cane and called out, “You’ve all done very well!”

nijuukyugou wrote:

FZ. wrote:I can see myself voting for myself in this situation only when I'm a frustrated civ wanting to teach everyone a lesson.

How long until deadline?

Deadline is 9 PM, isn't it?

Correct.

Mrs. Slocombe says:

You're lucky to have me here at all today! This summer heat has been simply unbearable. Last night, I arrived to what I thought was my home but had apparently been turned into a sauna. My central air broke down, and it was so bloody hot that I had to take my pussy outdoors for a good airing out. The repairman finally came at half past eleven to fix the problem, but oh, what a night! At least I can say my pussy is nice and cool again.

Speaking of repairs, we could use some repair in our unity as a staff. There are some among us who point their fingers in many directions but do not rest on any for long, and these individuals only serve to distract and divide us. I believe it is we, the staff, that should be pointing the fingers at THEM and remove them from the premises if we wish to be successful.

Having fought their way out of the giant, exploded brassiere, everyone was knackered and needed to catch their breath.

Agent E took a quick head count.

“There are only thirteen of you!” he cried. “Where is Mr. Person?”

How did most of the customers react to the display?

Poll ended at Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:48 am

Aroused
4
Boogs (2), Elohcin (4), DisgruntledPorcupine (5), Turnip Head (11)
33%

Yawn!
1
Vompatti (12)
8%

Baffled
5
reywaS (3), S~V~S (6), Snow Dog (7), Mongoose (9), nijuukyugou (10)
42%

Sickened
1
Dom (8)
8%

? (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
1
Epignosis (1)
8%


Total votes : 12

“Oy!” said a man in a yellow workman’s coat. “I ‘ave ‘is ‘ere display up from the maintenance department. Where ya wont it?”

Agent E scowled. “I may be an outsider, but I am sure there must be a policy on Maintenance being on the floor during opening hours.”

“Look ‘ere, mister British Intelligence man. If it weren’t for us blokes, you lot wouldn’t ‘ave tills or display cases for yer knickers.”

The Maintenance man had brought in two female mannequins, both in the nude, and an item of clothing that looked like it had been transported from the future.

“Well what is this? What does it do?” Agent E asked.

“This magnificent garment is a one-size-fits-all automatically adjusting brassiere. I’ll demonstrate.” He gestured toward the first mannequin. “See this lass ‘ere? Not so endowed in the bust, is she? At first, this ‘ere brassiere looks far too big for her. But with a quick adjustment ‘ere…”

The Maintenance man adjusted a small knob on the strap and the cups receded until they fit perfectly. “And voila.”

“Very interesting,” Agent E said.

“Now observe this bustier miss,” he said, gesturing to the other. “I bet she could smother puppies in between those things. At first glance, this brassiere wouldn’t do, but observe.”

With another adjustment, the garment’s cups swelled, and the Maintenance man began fitting the brassiere on the second mannequin. With some struggle, he managed to hook the straps together.

“It looks far too tight, I must say,” Agent E said. “The fabric on the straps looks like it’s becoming frayed. And what would a woman need with a one-size-fits-all automatically adjusting brassiere?"

“Women exchange clothes all the time. Just needs another minor adjustment. ‘Ere.”

The cups exploded like a pair of parachutes, covering the onlookers like a blanket.

By the end of the first hour of the workday, many wild accusations had been raised with no clear consensus.

“Blimey!” cried Agent E. “It’s little wonder this department store is in the state it’s in!”

How strange that even though only Mr. Snowy was keen on Ms. Sorsha’s removal, Ms. Sorsha was removed.

“Eh, Grace Bros. ‘as gone to the dogs.” Ms. Sorsha said.

Who should be ousted?

You may select 1 option

Miss Blooper
0
No votes

Mr. Dom
2
Vompatti (5), nijuukyugou (12)
15%

Mme. Effzi
2
Elohcin (4), Boogs (10)
15%

Mrs. Eloh
3
S~V~S (8), reywaS (9), Sorsha (13)
23%

Mrs. Essviess
0
No votes

Ms. Goosey
0
No votes

Mr. Person
0
No votes

Mr. Pictures
0
No votes

Mr. Porcupine
2
DisgruntledPorcupine (6), Mongoose (11)
15%

Mr. Rey
0
No votes

Mr. Snowy
1
Dom (7)
8%

Ms. Sorsha
1
Snow Dog (3)
8%

Mr. Turnips
1
FZ. (2)
8%

Mr. Vomperdoodle
0
No votes

Frank Thornton (The Host, the Non, the Dead)
1
Epignosis (1)
8%


Total votes : 13