The Syndicate

[VOTE: Long Con] aubergine

as above so below

my head is killing me sorry, i'll join the fun soon enough

(Berkeley, September 2, 2023)
Thursday

Your letters from Sunday, Monday, and one postmarked have arrived. Judge correctly, please, Milena. I'm sitting here so isolated, so far away and nonetheless in relative peace; many things pass through my mind—fear, unease—and so I write them down, even if they don't make much sense, and when I'm speaking to you I forget everything, even you; only when two such letters arrive do I regain my awareness of the whole.

I'll telephone Vlasta tomorrow; I'll go to an automatic phone booth, it won’t work from here. No answer at all from your father?

I don't entirely understand one of your apprehensions concerning the winter. If your husband is so ill, with 2 separate diseases, and if it's serious then he can't go to the office, nor of course, as a permanent employee, can he be dismissed. He’ll also have to arrange his life differently because of his diseases; this will simplify everything and at least make things easier on the surface, as sad as it is all otherwise.

But treating the problem of guilt seriously is one of the most senseless things on this planet, at least so it seems to me. I don’t consider the reproaches senseless; obviously when one is in distress one makes reproaches all around (although not in the utmost distress, when no reproaches are made). I can also understand that such reproaches are taken to heart in a time of agitation and turmoil, but the idea that one can discuss this like any ordinary problem of mathematics and produce results so clear they may be used to define daily conduct—that I do not understand at all. Of course it’s your fault, but then it’s also your husband’s fault and then yours again and then his again—just as it has to be whenever two people are living together, and the blame accumulates in endless succession until it reaches the gray original sin; but how does rummaging around in original sin help me get through the day, or you with your visit to the doctor in Berkeley?

And outside it's raining and raining and doesn't want to stop at all. I don't mind in the least; I'm sitting inside, dry, and am only ashamed at eating my bountiful second breakfast in front of the painter, who is standing on the scaffolding outside my windows and who has spattered the windows unnecessarily because he is enraged at the rain which has let up a little and at the amount of butter I am spreading on my bread. However, this too is only my imagination, since he's probably 100 times less concerned about me than vice versa. No, now he really is hard at work in the pouring rain and lightning.

I subsequently heard about Weiss that he probably isn't sick, just without money—at least that's how he was this summer—and in Franzensbad a collection was taken up for him. I answered him about three weeks ago, by registered mail—to the Berkeley Hills, incidentally—before I heard about the matter. He hasn't responded. He's now at Lake Anza with his girlfriend, who sends Baum postcards which are gloomy-serious (that's the way she is) but not exactly unhappy (also the way she is). I spoke with her briefly about a month ago before she left Berkeley (where she had good success in the theater). She looked miserable—she's generally weak and fragile but unbreakable—was exhausted from acting. She mentioned Weiss more or less like this: “At the moment he’s in the Berkeley Hills, he’s not doing well there, but we’re about to go to Lake Anza, better things will get better.”

Yes, Landauer is appearing in Kmen, I still haven’t read the second installment carefully; today is the third and last.

Today the Jamila affair is much less important than it was yesterday; her second visit only served to frighten me; I’ll probably neither write her nor visit. Every encounter with her conveys the strong feeling that she doesn’t do what she does for her own poor self; she's really carrying out an assignment, and not a human one.

750$ for 5 passports, i am feeling nationalistic today

haven't been on much today because of drinking... won't be on that much this game for drinking + work + social gatherings tbh, until the like 27th

aaaaaaa too many boys.... too many words

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm confusedddddd

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:10 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:08 pm

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:06 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:04 pm

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:03 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:56 pm

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:54 pm

At least I showed up!

you've played enough games with me to know that i will post more than you and interact about 3x as much as you, if you're gonna shade me at least know who you're talking to

When did I shade you??

"At least I showed up!"

Is this not about last game?

oh, i thought you meant this one, because of the "people who checked in but didn't post are sus" post, which would make you shade me with the post i quoted

blah

do you have any reads?

You've played enough games with ME to know it's too early to ask me that.

my intended witticism in response is redacted

Serhal wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:10 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:08 pm

Serhal wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:07 pm

MacDougall wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:49 pm

Serhal wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 12:14 pm Newb here, gonna be interesting playing with a new group of people to see who reads the scummiest.

"i am no threat to you people. i am very concerned about whether or not I can reliably accuse anyone here of sounding scummy because I am mafia."

Anyone thinking off the bat that someone isn't a threat has never played Mafia before.

Thankfully Roxy took it easy on me my first game on this site and gave me a townie role.

so you're not a "newb"?

Newb here, as in to this site. Not new to Mafia. Sorry if I wasn't clear on that point.

what experience do you have with mafia? and are you better at town or mafia?

Serhal wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:07 pm

MacDougall wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:49 pm

Serhal wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 12:14 pm Newb here, gonna be interesting playing with a new group of people to see who reads the scummiest.

"i am no threat to you people. i am very concerned about whether or not I can reliably accuse anyone here of sounding scummy because I am mafia."

Anyone thinking off the bat that someone isn't a threat has never played Mafia before.

Thankfully Roxy took it easy on me my first game on this site and gave me a townie role.

so you're not a "newb"?

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:06 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:04 pm

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:03 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:56 pm

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:54 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:53 pm [VOTE: long con] aubergine

At least I showed up!

you've played enough games with me to know that i will post more than you and interact about 3x as much as you, if you're gonna shade me at least know who you're talking to

When did I shade you??

"At least I showed up!"

Is this not about last game?

oh, i thought you meant this one, because of the "people who checked in but didn't post are sus" post, which would make you shade me with the post i quoted

blah

do you have any reads?

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:03 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:56 pm

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:54 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:53 pm [VOTE: long con] aubergine

At least I showed up!

you've played enough games with me to know that i will post more than you and interact about 3x as much as you, if you're gonna shade me at least know who you're talking to

When did I shade you??

"At least I showed up!"

MacDougall wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:58 pm Robyn seems town. I'm willing to stake the game on this.

mmmm, i am wifom'ing (whatever acronym means thinking about various scenarios which implicate or clear you) all sorts of stuff from this post. but it's all nonsense better forgtten. just reevaluate me later thanks

i don't think you've created an accurate mental model overnight and ur probably looking for me to say these exact words, so here

MacDougall wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:55 pm Alright Long Con is town i think and like DarlingMonroe probs town, and leetic little bit townie. Robyn, Tutuu and Pyxxy checking in and not posting is bad. Serhal sussy. Sig mad sussy. Scotty's entrance was kind of hella sussy too.

mac>leetic>monroe >>>>>> long con

long con feels artificial here in a way that i can't articulate because of lack of posts

Long Con wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:54 pm

robyn wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 6:53 pm [VOTE: long con] aubergine

At least I showed up!

you've played enough games with me to know that i will post more than you and interact about 3x as much as you, if you're gonna shade me at least know who you're talking to